How the qualities of being proud and modest are combined. The meaning of the word “self-love.” Orthodox encyclopedic dictionary

Some qualities inherent in people, initially have a lot in common, so it is not surprising that they are confused. For example, not everyone is able to distinguish self-love from self-respect. Additionally, one can mistakenly attach negative connotations to traits without realizing their meaning.

What is self-love?

Self-love is a feeling inherent in any person; full acceptance of one's own strengths and weaknesses. It is mistakenly equated with selfishness. In fact, it is precisely this that helps to achieve success, to isolate oneself from unnecessary things, to avoid dangerous situations, do not suffer due to progressive ones.

There are many myths around self-esteem that are not sought to be debunked. Such an attitude towards oneself is often condemned and considered almost indecent. In society, people are more loyal to people with complexes than to people with complexes. The reasons—or the belief—that confident people are fixated on own desires, ignoring others, and unable to have strong feelings for others. The latter is typical for people, but the roots of such behavior do not lie in their attitude towards themselves.

Wounded pride.

Both notorious teenagers and respectable adult men and women suffer from it. The syndrome is common to those who have ego problems. It is easy to offend such people by carelessly dropping a sharp joke, criticizing their activities/appearance/choice, even looking “wrong”. Wounded pride is a strong reaction to external stimuli, manifesting itself almost instantly.

How to fight?

Stop getting angry in response to jokes; do not pay attention to phrases said specifically in order to catch your pride. A person does not become ugly or untalented because someone voiced an insult out loud - his personality does not change in any way. Words, in fact, are not offensive: offense is just a reaction to something.

You should take it easier on what others say. Someone's words have no effect internal state. But anger, self-indulgence, resentment out of nowhere - they influence, and noticeably. Those who deliberately say offensive things are trying to throw out accumulated negativity, and almost any reaction from the defendant brings him a fair dose of negative ones. Ignoring or a neutral attitude is a proven defense that preserves nerves and composure.

What is self-esteem?

What is the difference between self-love and self-esteem?

The concepts seem similar, but there are still differences between them. The second is not capable of existing without the first - without accepting oneself externally and internally as a whole. But individual manifestations of pride do not imply self-respect - for example, wounded self-respect. This is due to selfishness, suppressed complexes and other problems.

The difference is that respect is a must. Moreover, every person has pride, which sometimes manifests itself in not the best forms. In general (not to be confused with) is a much more important quality, because it implies complete acceptance of all negative and positive ones, working on oneself, ignoring unnecessary things.

Confusion between the terms is an understandable phenomenon, since they are considered related. However, there are far more differences between wounded pride and self-respect than there are similarities. The first quality should be eradicated, while the second, on the contrary, should be “nourished”. This implies not only the elimination of destructive traits, but also the development of the best ones. Helping others, treating them and yourself with respect is the key to a harmonious, happy life.

Each of us is an individual - this is an indisputable and absolute fact. Each of us represents something, has a unique set of character traits and characteristics, a unique psychology and worldview, which makes us so different from each other. And yet, in human psychology there are several common points that unite all people on Earth, several psychological characteristics which are observed in every person. One of these characteristics of human character is self-love. But what is self-love and how useful is it in modern life?

Basic definition

Different psychological Talmuds give different definitions of self-love. But in general, they all agree that self-love is nothing more than the protection of one’s social value and relevance. In other words, self-love can be defined as a trait thanks to which a person constantly grows above himself, becomes better, smarter, more attractive and maintains his value in society. Relative value, of course. But is this really a good incentive to improve your life? Everyone will find the answer for themselves, because each of us has our own personal motivation. However, let's just say: without love and self-respect, further spiritual, physical and intellectual growth is impossible.

Pros and cons

But pride is good, many psychologists will say. And others will answer on the contrary, they say, to exalt oneself extremely is akin to moral degradation. And, by the way, they will also be right. After all, a proud person, as a rule, tries not only to inform others about his constant growth above himself, but also in every possible way to maintain the illusion of his own superiority. Of course, this is true in the case when a person is too focused on himself, but, as practice shows, even the most modest people are prone to exaggeration of their own “I”.

Human Praise

From the point of view practical psychology, self-esteem is a time when a person is actively fueled by various manifestations of social approval. In other words, when we are praised, we grow in our own eyes, and vice versa. A proud person, as a rule, builds in his head a certain scale of values ​​and goals that must be achieved at any cost, and for this it is necessary to constantly strive somewhere and do something. Of course, this is good, especially in cases where an individual strives for goals that are useful for himself and society. But when a person deliberately follows the path of self-destruction and degradation, pride plays a somewhat perverted role here. It is always important to remember that this quality itself is a catalyst for desires and actions, but not the main reason.

Selfishness

“No one likes arrogant people,” many say. But in fact, people definitely like it, especially those whose psychotype is characterized by pride. It is sometimes very easy to offend such a person - you just need to say one word. Here there is already heightened self-esteem, in which a person concentrates attention exclusively on satisfying his desires and needs, he is indifferent to those around him, by and large. We can say that too strong a manifestation of this quality leads to egocentrism, that is, to an extreme degree of selfishness.

Striving to be first

But if we talk about normal, then this is, of course, good. A mentally and physically healthy person is always distinguished by pride, and a fair amount at that. This is not a vice or a reason for condemnation - such is the nature of people. After all, self-love is nothing more than motivation for personal and professional success. Young people are always proud, even those who are considered examples of modesty. This entails high ambition and the desire to achieve success in any field. So you should always respect and love yourself - it’s better to go too far than to underestimate yourself and your strengths.

hurt feeling

Of course, you shouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone’s feelings, especially a woman’s pride. Indeed, in this case, not only will you just offend the person, but you may also lose him forever good relationship with him. This is especially true for this, because, despite the uniqueness of each girl, they, like men, still have something in common. Women, especially in adulthood, react very sensitively to compliments and words of flattery, so it is better to remain silent than to tell a lie. And, of course, representatives of the fair sex react more sharply to comments about appearance, behavior and way of thinking from people around them. It is important for a lady of any age to feel comfortable and calm, so you shouldn’t directly and publicly point out any shortcomings - it’s enough to remain silent, but if you really need to draw a woman’s attention to this nuance, it’s better to tell her this aside, in private. And your hurt pride will not suffer much, and you will remain in a normal relationship.

an emotional attitude that reflects a person’s assessment of himself. Sharp explosive manifestations of S. are characteristic of boys and girls during puberty. It is important for each person to have a certain measure of self-esteem and self-esteem. Without this there is no individuality. However, excessive S. harms both those around him and the individual himself. In this case, it interferes with correctly assessing the positive traits in other people, and can also lead to increased selfishness. Painful S. is a sign that a person has an inferiority complex and a cause of conflict.

Self-love

self-interest, vanity, resentment, desire to have better personal qualities than others, to be superior to others.

In the underworld of the scenes, pride knows no gender: the success of an artist - male or female, it makes no difference - turns the entire troupe against him (O. Balzac, Daughter of Eve).

“Grushnitsky! - I said. – There is still time; renounce your slander, and I will forgive you everything. You failed to fool me, and my pride is satisfied” (M. Lermontov, Hero of Our Time).

Self-love accompanies all other types of love (Voltaire).

I won’t let her boast that she was the first to leave me (J.-B. Moliere, The Bourgeois in the Nobility).

Wed. honor.

A girl in adolescence wants as many hearts as possible to be broken because of her, in order to satisfy her vanity (H. Deitch, Psychology of Women).

Women commit suicide when their narcissistic ego is damaged. In general, they can be offended by this very thing (ibid.).

Above all passions is self-love (Isaac the Syrian). Wed. narcissism.

PROUD

PROUD

PROUD, proud, proud; proud, proud, proud. Possessing great pride. Proud character. A painfully proud person. He is very proud. “This cadet... seemed to me to be a very intelligent person, extremely proud and therefore very pitiful.” L. Tolstoy . “I have seen other eccentric women who are proudly (adv.) indifferent to passionate sighs and praise.” Pushkin .

Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary. D.N. Ushakov. 1935-1940.

Synonyms:

See what “PROOF” is in other dictionaries:

Proud... Spelling dictionary-directory

Cm … Dictionary of synonyms

PROUD, oh, oh; Iv. Possessing heightened self-esteem. S. person. C. character. Ozhegov's explanatory dictionary. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 … Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

proud- extremely proud... Dictionary of Russian Idioms

Adj. 1. ratio with noun pride associated with it 2. Having great pride. 3. Human with great pride. Ephraim's explanatory dictionary. T. F. Efremova. 2000... Modern explanatory dictionary Russian language Efremova

Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud, proud, proud, proud, proud, proud, proud, proud, proud, proud, proud, proud, proud, proud,... ... Forms of words

proud- selfish... Russian spelling dictionary

proud - … Spelling dictionary of the Russian language

proud- selfishness... Together. Separately. Hyphenated.

Aya, oh; biv, a, oh. Possessing heightened self-esteem. Look, what a s.! // Imbued with pride. C. character. Oh feeling. S. look. ◁ Proudly, called... Encyclopedic Dictionary

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Each person is unique and inimitable not only externally, but also internally. Each of us has our own character traits, characteristics, psychology and worldview. We all have self-love, but this character trait is developed differently in everyone. Let's figure out what pride is and who are proud people?

Definition of self-love

It's good when a person has a feeling self-esteem, but, as they say, there must be moderation in everything. Each of us has self-love, but this character trait is different. varying degrees of development. If you look into various sources to find the definition of the word pride, you can understand that this is a spiritual and moral quality of an individual person.

A person cannot love someone if he does not love himself. This character trait should manifest itself as self-respect and recognition of one’s own dignity. Thanks to this trait, a person can constantly grow spiritually and develop. It will become:

• smarter;
• more attractive;
• maintain your authority in society.

If a person does not love and respect himself, he cannot develop and improve intellectually, spiritually and physically normally.

When self-love helps a person to show restraint and responsibility for his actions and actions, then this can be assessed as positive quality in character. Sometimes this feeling is developed so strongly that a person does not notice his own shortcomings. In this case, pride develops into pride and ambition, turning into selfishness.

Is self-love good or bad?

Most psychologists say that self-love is a good feeling. Other experts in the field of psychology believe that it is wrong to exalt oneself, since one can become morally degraded over time. To some extent, they are right, because often highly developed pride gives people a feeling of superiority over others. Over time, this leads to hyperbolization of one’s own “I”.

Adequate self-esteem is always perceived positively in society. It is very good when a person has:

• sense of dignity;
• does not allow oneself to be offended;
• accepts comments addressed to him;
• achieves its goals.

The sages have always said that low self-esteem is much worse than great pride. It's another matter when we're talking about about a proud person, this is immediately noticeable and does not allow her to live normally in society. In this case, she is not able to soberly assess her strengths and capabilities. A proud person has personal interests that prevail over the interests of other people, because he perceives himself as superior to everyone else. This quality makes the narcissist unpleasant for other people and his character unbearable.

Against the background of sick pride, people often develop neurasthenia. Gradually this leads to other negative consequences. A person constantly feels that he is underestimated and, to console his feelings of narcissism, he may lose control over himself. This can serve as a signal for bad actions:

• gluttony;
• alcoholism;
• drug addiction and other antisocial behavior.

How to get rid of excess pride?

When one of us hears words of praise addressed to himself, he begins to grow in his own eyes. If a person is constantly underestimated, undeservedly scolded, criticized, he falls in the eyes of himself and the people around him. Especially self-esteem is acutely developed in women. In adulthood, this begins to manifest itself more strongly. All representatives of the fairer sex always react negatively to comments, for example, about their appearance. For this reason, you should not directly tell women about this, but it is better to hint or say it gently in private.

It’s good when a person strives somewhere, works on himself, he has his own goals that he wants to achieve if they are useful for him and society. Normal pride should not lead to self-destruction of the individual, to his degradation. In a good sense, this feeling should be a kind of catalyst for desires and actions.

If this feeling is adequate and helps you move through life, then you shouldn’t get rid of it. In this case, this trait is positive, it cannot be considered a disadvantage. You can be proud of moderately developed self-esteem. It will help you move forward, not stop there, and continue self-development.

A proud person with a wounded and sick feeling requires the help of a qualified specialist in the field of psychology, with attendance at special trainings. Such people will not be able to notice their shortcomings on their own and take the word of others that they have inflated self-esteem. They are creating their own perfect image with which they are soaked. This resembles pride and arrogance, which gradually leads to disrespect from others.

If self-love is combined with philanthropy, respect for others, then it can be called positive feature character and required quality. It will help you live, appreciate yourself, not allow yourself to be offended, and believe in your strength.