Remember how often we buy a new gadget or book that should help us become better. We feel like we've accomplished something important and gotten closer to our goal, when in fact we've just wasted money and time.

We take the wrong first step if:

• buying new sportswear instead of starting to exercise;
• we buy a new computer instead of starting to write a book on the old one;
• let's take on new project when the previous one has not yet been completed;
• We read reviews about new cameras, although we don’t use the one we already have.

Purchasing should not be the first step towards a goal. After all, even if you buy a new thing, you still need to force yourself to use it first. It’s quite possible that after purchasing you will realize that you don’t really need this thing.

1. Do the hardest thing

Deep down, we almost always know what we are avoiding. It is this action or decision that is often the most important for achieving the goal. But we are distracted time after time by false first steps. To move forward, we don’t need to buy something new, but do what seems most difficult to us.

2. Think like an entrepreneur

Instead of throwing money at an untested idea, good entrepreneurs look for the minimum viable solution. Then they test whether it works, whether people are interested in it, and identify the shortcomings of their idea early on.

If you rarely pick up your camera, a new expensive camera will not turn you into a good photographer. You need more practice. Most likely, you don’t even know what features your old camera is missing.

The best solution in this case is to train with what you already have.

3. Strengthen a habit before spending money.

If you are not even trying to achieve something using the resources you already have, but immediately want to buy something new, stop and think about the situation. Try to break out of the cycle.

Changing takes time and effort.

Find a simple action that you can do every day that will help you strengthen your desired habit. For example, if you want to start running, don't buy new running shoes right away, but try going for a walk every day for a month. Once the habit takes hold, you'll really notice the difference in your new running shoes and want to improve further.

4. Rent the necessary equipment

To avoid cluttering your home and wasting money on a false first step, borrow or rent the necessary equipment to help you achieve your goal. You are unlikely to put off using it until later, because it needs to be returned. And in the process you will understand whether you really need it and whether it is worth buying. This way you will save your time and money.

5. Don't be afraid to make mistakes

The best way to figure out what you really need is to try and be patient. Once you try to achieve your goal, you will learn to ask the right questions and find the answers, and you'll do better next time. Only then will you understand what you need to do to move on.

Of course, we are all afraid of failure, but acknowledging this fear will help you achieve your goal. Instead of buying new book By proper nutrition or a new camera and then blame them for your failures, try to accept that mistakes are a natural part of development.

The first step is always the most difficult. It doesn’t matter what we want to do: clean the house or start moving towards a goal. Taking the first step can be scary. And that's okay.

Why does the first step cause such internal resistance? How to force yourself to do something? How to use the energy of the first step for your benefit? You will find answers to questions in this article.

The hardest thing is to take the first step!

Most often, the fear of the first step arises because of the seemingly large amount of work ahead. In addition to this, we may be afraid that we may not cope. Well, ordinary laziness can discourage any desire to act.

This is why we love to start so much.

Undoubtedly, every person has encountered the reluctance to start something. Let's find out how to overcome this internal resistance.

The good news is that energy fills us as soon as we finally take the first step.

Example: We need to remove dust from the closet. But so lazy! Okay, we still force ourselves to pick up a rag and wipe the dust off the cabinet. AND??? What happens next? Suddenly, instead of dusting in one place, we find ourselves doing global cleaning throughout the entire apartment! What happened? What about recent laziness?

It turns out, friends, we get energy boost when we start doing something. , remember? The world feeds us with energy as soon as we begin to accomplish our plans.

The main thing is to start by taking the first step.

This knowledge can and should be used for your own benefit. Persuade yourself to do something for 5 minutes - and there is a very high probability that you will get involved in this activity and completely do something that you previously did not want to do.

An action creates energy for its further execution.

That is, even if you don’t have the energy for some activity, just try to do it. After all, you have nothing to lose, you can always stop. If it doesn’t rush, it means it doesn’t rush.

And now we’re not talking about cleaning at all. Very often our goals remain unfulfilled dreams because we were never able to overcome the fear of the first step. But all you had to do was start...

It doesn't matter what happens in the end. Yes, if you do something, it may not work out. But if you do nothing, then nothing will work out 100%. than to scold yourself all your life for missed opportunities.

The main thing is to take the first step towards your dreams, goals, desires!?

Good luck, friends.

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When we like someone, we feel an inner lift. We begin to think about moving to the next level in our relationship with this person, but we want the process to go as smoothly as possible. The stronger your feelings about it, the more likely you are to do or say the wrong thing. Taking the first step is quite difficult (for both a girl and a young man), but this article will help you with this.

Steps

Part 1

Preparation

Pay attention to body language, which can tell you more than words. Only 7% of our daily communication is through words. 55% of our communication occurs through body language. Before you make the first move, pay attention to things like long glances or interested facial expressions to determine if you'll get a positive response.

Communicate using body language. Send and receive the right signals. Your body language can let someone know that you like them.

Communicate. Physical methods flirting are not the only ones; Talking to the person you like is a great way to get to know them and perhaps take your relationship to the next level. Good communication skills indicate a person's self-confidence, which is one of the most attractive things human qualities. Men are more motivated by actions, while women are more motivated by the meaning of their partners' words. Good conversation is valued by both sexes. Here are some tips for keeping the conversation going:

Ask interesting questions. When talking to someone you're interested in, avoid talking about the weather or asking questions that can be answered in monosyllables (which will lead to awkward silence).

• Ask open-ended questions about current events or general interests and hobbies.
• For example, ask questions like: “What book are you reading now?”, “Have you watched any interesting film recently?”, “Which part of our city do you like best?”
• Follow-up questions (“Who is your favorite character in this book?”, “What do you think about the ending of this movie?”, “Why do you like this particular part of the city?”) will make it clear to the interlocutor that you are listening carefully to his answers and that you care about them interesting.

1. Be open and honest. This doesn't mean you need to tell your partner every detail about your life in the first conversation, but be open and honest when talking about what you're looking for in a partner, your outlook on life, and so on. This will indicate you as a confident person, and will make your interlocutor understand your position in life and your point of view, which he may share.

   Be positive. Saying positive things will help you maintain a friendly attitude and a bright expression. Negative words are inherent closed people, which your interlocutor may not like. If you want to talk about unpleasant topics, do so in a humorous manner. It is necessary to be honest and open, but first try to maintain a friendly and fun atmosphere.

   Create a romantic atmosphere. Plan a romantic date in advance and arrange it in an intimate setting. Instead of going to a movie or a restaurant, cook dinner and invite the object of your interest to your home. The idea is to create a comfortable, but also romantic atmosphere.

   Keep it simple. If a romantic setting doesn't suit you or your crush, do something casual.

   Find out if your partner is ready for physical intimacy. This does not have to be verbal confirmation. People tend to use body language to show their willingness to do so. Body language varies here, but in most cases this is indicated by touching the face or body. Pay attention to your partner's reaction and adapt to it.

   Start with kisses. For some, it's as difficult as asking someone out on a date. Relax and be confident (but not aggressive). Maintain eye contact, pause the conversation when your faces are close, and make sure your partner is okay with the kiss.

2. Take your time with the first contact. So you started kissing; take your time and make sure your partner is ready for the next steps. Light touches on your body will not only reveal your intentions, but will also give you an idea of ​​your partner's desires.

   • Take your time to give your partner time to tell you no. Everything must happen with mutual consent. If a person is not ready for physical intimacy, respect his wishes.
   • Be prepared to practice safe sex. To do this, stock up on condoms in advance (both men and women should have them). Enjoying each other during sex is great, but it's always important to remember to protect both yourself and your partner.

1) He is too indecisive and modest. You often catch the glance of his shy and slightly frightened eyes. And she wouldn’t mind getting to know him better. He looks at you for a long time, trying to convey a silent request to do something, at least a tiny step in his direction, which will make him understand, make sure that his timid and vulnerable nature will not be rejected by you. A small step that may give him courage in his subsequent actions towards you.

2) You think about him all the time while you are not sleeping, and in your dreams he constantly appears to you in his image of a magnificent, unsurpassed super guy, endowed with exceptional virtues that you were able to discern in him at the first glance at his divine face. You no longer care whether it is customary or not in our conservative society to give the right of the first step to a lady. Only one thought worries you: what will he think? Will your initiative put him off? But these thoughts fade into the background the next time you look at him, the guy of your dreams. You want to be with him always, to feel his breath on your skin, the touch of his lips and hot hugs. You're almost sure this is love. The only thing left to do is find out whether he really experiences the same as you, and whether you have a chance to be together.

3) You are active and confident enough to make your own choice. After all, who said that girls should just sit passively with their hands folded and wait for the one and only to notice them? Do you agree with the opinion that guys are chosen by the fair sex themselves and your happiness is only in your hands. You want and will be with the one YOU want to be with, and not with the one who wants to be with you.

5) You have very little time. You saw him only recently and may never see him again. You feel that in this short time he has become very dear to you and this is not at all a game of hormones. You don’t want to lose him and then, perhaps, regret that you missed the chance that fate so fortunately gave you.

6) He was once in love with you, but you pushed him away. And now suddenly, I realized that you yourself were breathing unevenly in relation to him. And something tells you that his feelings remain the same. Of course, in this case you can really get burned, since perhaps he will want to cause you the same pain that you once caused him. But, as they say, those who don’t take risks don’t drink champagne. In any case, it's up to you.

7) You have been communicating for a long time and you are almost sure that he likes him not just as a friend and an intelligent interlocutor. You feel good and have fun together, and you yourself begin to feel something more than just friendly affection for him. But there are no attempts on his part to achieve greater rapprochement. As if he is afraid of something or something is stopping him. Perhaps he is not sure that you are ready for the development of your relationship and is waiting for you to let him know this. With his confession, he is afraid of ruining the wonderful connection that exists between you now. Try to carefully start a conversation with him on this topic. So that in as a last resort There was always the opportunity to retreat at the right moment and reduce everything to a harmless joke.

8) And finally, you’re just tired of everything always happening on someone else’s initiative. You want to try on a new image of an insidious conqueror and temptress. Or you have been captured by the ideas of feminism that have become so widespread these days. Today it’s not him, but you who will call the tune! Why do only guys have the right to choose? After all, this is unfair! If you think so, then this book was written especially for you. last reason.

You shouldn't take the first step if...

You're not sure if you really need this.
...this completely contradicts all your life principles and views.
...you are too timid and shy for such an initiative.
...you know for sure that he has a girlfriend with whom he is in love and with whom he has been dating for a long time.
...you feel that this person is neglecting you, and perhaps even avoiding you altogether.
...he is attracted to people of the same sex. Or more precisely, if he is gay.
...you can't answer yes to the question of whether he will make you happy.
...you feel that in just a little while he himself will be “ripe” for decisive action.

And, in conclusion, remember the most important thing: loving and revealing your feelings to the person you love is never humiliating or embarrassing. Do not despair if you suddenly receive a refusal or even ridicule of your confession. You are strong and brave girl, if she was able to openly express her feelings. Appreciate and respect yourself and you will probably succeed! Good luck!

Lika Heavenly

Old traditions do not easily become obsolete. You can be three times modern woman, manage a department of 50 people, ride a bike, and if necessary, without batting an eye, deal with the electrical panel... But not find the courage to be the first to approach the man you like. Because it's not accepted. What will he think? What if he doesn’t like me?.. Maybe these fears really have a basis? Or is it high time for the desperate and self-confident Amazons of our time to take the initiative in relationships into their own hands?

The stronger sex is traditionally assigned the role of hunter. Even if the man you are interested in is engaged exclusively in peaceful office work, prefers checkers to all sports, and grows gladioli in his spare time, he is expected to take offensive actions. It is he who must show interest, make efforts, charm, conquer and conquer you, feignedly inaccessible! When a man does nothing for a long time, it is confusing. Most girls in such a situation decide that they have nothing to count on here and humbly wait for a more enterprising knight.

But the indecisiveness of your chosen one does not always mean that you have nothing to catch here. Men have many of the most various reasons take your time with the first step.

• Another woman. If he already has a girlfriend and changing her for a new one is not part of the man’s plans, nothing can be done. Immediately switch to other candidates for your heart so as not to waste time.
• Timidity. Yes, yes, a hefty guy with slanting fathoms in his shoulders and brutal stubble on his chin can be just as afraid to approach a woman as a high school student in love. And the more he liked you, the longer the man will walk in circles, waiting for a favorable moment and gaining courage.
• Complexes. It is generally accepted that only girls tend to look for real and imagined shortcomings in themselves. A man, they say, always considers himself an enviable prize - with a beer belly, a receding hairline and the last hundred in a holey wallet... Nothing of the kind! The stronger sex also has plenty of its own cockroaches, from which neither good looks nor an enviable position in society can save you.

If a man does not show signs of sympathy for you, this does not mean that he does not like you

• Inertia. If a man is a recognized handsome man, completely spoiled by female attention, he may simply not know how to care. Why, if potential girlfriends are ready to line up themselves?
• Tough breakup. It may be like this: he just broke up with his previous girlfriend in a scandal and is afraid to repeat the same experience with you.
• Fear of relationships. Perhaps the man understands that a casual relationship is not what you need right now, but he is not yet ready to offer anything more.
• Desire for a serious relationship. The exact opposite situation: if a person has already “ripened” to the idea of ​​starting a family, then he will approach the choice of a life partner with extreme caution. Give time to take a closer look at you and evaluate your positive qualities.
• Cunning. He noticed you a long time ago, appreciated you, and even managed to attract your attention. And then he went into the shadows for a while to intrigue even more. What an effective tactic!

Of all stated reasons Only the first one or the option in which the man really didn’t like you is an absolute failure. It happens, because there is no arguing about tastes. You can, of course, change your hair from blonde to brunette to suit the preferences of your capricious gentleman and launch a real campaign to conquer him. But will the result be worth the effort? After all, you can’t order your heart. But in all other cases, something can and should be done.

How to take the first step yourself

• Show your interest. If every time your chosen one appears you pull on a mask Snow Queen and you hide your feelings with all your might, you can wait until your gray hairs for active actions on his part. Friendly “Hello!” instead of the impersonal “Good afternoon,” the joyful “Oh, I was just thinking about you!” and a sincere smile are the first means of seduction.
• Watch your postures and gestures. If you are tense, constrained and resemble a high school student taking an exam with an unnaturally straight back and hands folded on your knees, you will quickly lose the desire to communicate with you. Relax your shoulders (but don't slouch!), casually toss a strand of hair from your forehead, cross your legs and play with your shoe... Let the man know that you feel at ease and calm next to him.

A protruding corner of a collar is an excellent reason to touch its owner once again.

• Touch. Brush a speck of dust off his sleeve. Correct your badge if it happens at a conference or meeting. As if by chance, in thought, touch your hand. If a man feels even the slightest inclination towards you, such things do not go unnoticed by him.
• Have a casual date. Do you know that he loves serious music? Excitedly report: an orchestra concert under the direction of Spivakov is taking place in a neighboring city, and you intend to attend it! The interlocutor will probably readily offer to join you in company. Are you interested in history? Loudly complain that you have been dreaming of seeing the reconstruction of the Battle of Kulikovo for three years, but you just can’t gather like-minded people for the trip. But try not to make it look forced! If just yesterday you called reenactors idiots, and today you are inflamed with passion for their activities, it will look at least strange.
• Ask for help. Two rules: choose an area in which the man is well versed and do not be too intrusive. A one-time service will make him feel like your protector-savior, but constant requests will tire you and make him think that you are using him.
• Know how to listen. Scarlett O'Hara's recipe of “conducting a conversation about himself, and then gradually, imperceptibly turning to himself and then sticking to this topic” has not worked for a hundred years. Ask questions, insert relevant comments so that the interlocutor does not think that you fell asleep during his monologue. Laugh at the jokes! But don't overdo it. False enthusiasm for completely banal stories from childhood will certainly raise doubts about your sincerity.
• An option for those who are completely slow-witted: tell them directly about your feelings. But not in the “I love you, I can’t live without you!” style. Such a confession will cause nothing but tension, and will put both of you in an unpleasant position. Say something like, “I like you,” and see how the man reacts. If your feeling is not mutual, you can always play it back and pretend that it was about friendly affection.
• If you feel that you care about him, distance yourself for a while. You have already taken the first step, now it is the man’s turn.

Whatever path you choose, take care of yourself before taking decisive action. A beautiful hairstyle, perfect manicure and fashionable, tailored clothes will add to your self-confidence, and, therefore, attractiveness.

In what cases is it better to do without taking initiative?

Sometimes the best solution is not to take the initiative

• He has a girlfriend. The words about happiness that is not built on the tears of others were not invented out of nowhere.
• The man favorably accepts your attentions, but does not try to provide them himself. Or he sincerely considers himself a gift that you will be obliged to reverently serve for the rest of your life in gratitude for condescending to you. Or he considers you as a temporary option - since I am still free and there is a woman who is not indifferent to me, why not start a non-binding romance?
• In your heart you understand that you are not created for active actions. Well, not everyone can storm the city. Instead of gritting your teeth and breaking yourself, return to light female flirting. In skillful hands this is also a terrible force!
• Your interest in this person has arisen recently. What if the relationship starts, but the feelings cool down after a week? You’ll have to quickly look for another article called “How to take the first step towards a breakup”!
• The man clearly has sympathy for you. Give him a couple more days and you’ll see he’ll decide on something.

Video: how to understand that a guy likes you?