How to get tougher? Being the right children, we learn the basics of behavior in society from milk teeth - do not be rude to the elders, listen to authorities, give in, make compromises.

And also share toys, be more tactful and not offend anyone.

If at two years old a stubborn baby does not want to part with his new car just because Petya also wants to play with it, then by the age of twenty-five everything changes.

Here, the grown-up baby already dejectedly gives his wife a salary, takes on a pile of someone else's reporting, lends friends to acquaintances, allows distant relative"turn over" on your couch. And only dreams of becoming a tougher character.

Many parents raising naughty children also often ask themselves the question “How to become tougher?”. It seems to them that they have spoiled their kids too much, and they want to get on the right track.

But here there is a danger:you can confuse toughness and cruelty. And then instead of a "silk" child, you will get offended and vengeful.

Motivate yourself to be tough when it matters. Convince yourself that your inflexibility and your definition of a clear framework for behavior is important for the child himself. Penalties should be moderate and adequate.

Play the role of a policeman in the house who will politely talk and impose a fine for a crime, and not a tyrant and despot who will deprive all the cartoons for a week.

How to define the border between rigidity and cruelty? Catch yourself in the moment when you are punishing another: how do you feel? Joy, satisfaction? Or do you want to hug a person and reassure, but do not give yourself free rein?

Real tough people are always in good control, do not hysteria, do not scream and never enjoy their harshness. This is a forced measure.

The path to toughness

Do you want to be a tough guy? Be consistent. Start with the main:stop changing your mind and decision to please others.

So the child asked you for a toy, you refused, and then he began to manipulate you. Cry, build sad eyes, like a Puss in Boots, wallow on the pavement ... And you lost - once, twice. And in his eyes you are no longer an authority, but someone very soft and obedient, harmless.

The same thing happens in conversations with superiors, colleagues, parents and friends. All people dream of breaking others and make them do it their way. Which side are you on: with those who go their own way, or with those who fulfill other people's desires?

Remember the rule :

"They said no"?Banned,refused?Now this is your way,don't get off it".

Why get tougher? To be happier. To be able to say "no" to parents forcibly pushing you into the math department. To convince the boss that it's not your turn to be on duty at Christmas. To firmly inform your spouse that you will spend your salary on a new oven, and not on his car gadgets.

You'll have to . Often people with a clear low self-esteem suffer from softness. Those who do not really believe in their right to happiness, choice, freedom and resistance.

Rule Two:

"Remember,that pliability and pliability do not deserve friendship ".

Let's remember school. Everyone writes off you homework, and for a moment it seems to you that now you are the navel of the Earth, the hero of the day and everyone will want to be friends with you. But the bell rings - and they forget about you. And they will remember only when the time comes for the control.

It is important to realize how humiliating a place a gentle person occupies in today's aggressive society. limp people are used, and the goals of others are always selfish.

You will not be thanked for copying someone else's term paper, serving a shift for a colleague, driving someone else's father-in-law to the airport ...

Reliable Man – like a free soda machine. No one will think of giving him money, no one will rush to hug him.

Rule Three:

"Define your boundaries of the possible and the impossible".

Being an absolute "beech" is also not worth it. Sometimes friends really need help, parents need advice, children need love and support. By trying to get tougher, you run the risk of getting carried away and turning down everyone indiscriminately.

Therefore, take a piece of paper, carefully write down on it all the things that you no longer want to do for other people. For example, “I will never lend my wife’s brother”, “I will not lend my notes to Kolya”, “I will not take on five extra hours of work for “thank you” ...

In another column, outline for yourself the possible, pleasant and right things to do - helping parents with repairs, homework with children, and the like.

If you were asked a question on the forehead, and it does not appear on your list, take time to think. Weigh, brainstorm, and then with refuse in good conscience.

How to identify wrong actions? Usually after them you feel bad, blame yourself for lack of will, do not feel happy. You are disappointed and understand that you stepped on the same rake again: you were used.

After doing the right thing, you are encouraged and happy that you could be of service.

Since it's impossible to be good for everyone, don't be afraid to dislike someone. The main thing is that you love yourself.

Many mistakenly think that a successful relationship with a girl depends on beautiful courtship, love, gifts and other nonsense. It is not true. Your relationship will only have perspective when you show your dominant role in them.

Everything is simple, as in the animal world, because a person is not far from his smaller brothers. In animals, the dominant male enjoys the favor of the females. So it is with a person. There can be no equality between a man and a woman, here you are either in charge or you are led.

By nature, the dominance of a man over a woman is laid down, and if it is the other way around, then nothing good will come of it for you guys. The opinion that if two people love each other, then it doesn’t matter who is more important, is fundamentally wrong - this relationship is doomed to failure. It is important for a woman to have a strong man next to her, ready to protect her from any danger, and if you show weakness in your relationship, believe me, they will not last long, until the first competitor “with eggs”.

So, let's talk about how to become the main one in a relationship with a girl.

1. Be confident in yourself (high self-esteem).

All your actions, speech, gestures should radiate inner confidence, strength and self-confidence, then the girl will feel that next to you you can relax and be with you like behind a stone wall.

With low self-esteem, nothing shines in your relationship with women. How can a girl treat you if you don't put yourself in anything? That's right, it will wipe your feet on you. Therefore, first of all, increase your self-esteem: go in for sports, improve, study the relevant literature. I have already written in detail how to raise self-esteem.

You must be confident in yourself not "thanks" but "despite". I mean that you must believe in yourself, despite the small failures that could shake this faith.

2. Be self-sufficient.

The ability to manage the house and cook, independence from relationships that should not be the center of your world - this is self-sufficiency, which is very important for your dominant position in relationships. Less indulging women's whims, you will tie her to yourself more.

3. Be the bad guy.

Note that women love the "bad guys", and vice versa, the "good guys" who try to please everyone and be good to everyone at the same time end up with a disregard for themselves as a result.

Stop agreeing with the girl in everything, have your own opinion, and stand firm on it. Do not overly please her in everything, the more you invest efforts, emotions, love and money, the more you will depend on these relationships and the less your girlfriend will need them. Know how to say no, indulgence will lead to the fact that you will unquestioningly fulfill any whim.

By following these simple rules, you will greatly improve your relationship with the female sex. Remember, the one who is more significant will dominate. You must psychologically feel superior to your partner.

Important: you should not be better, but consider yourself better, value yourself. You should not be afraid to break up relationships for the sake of personal interests, the slave partner will feel this and, on the contrary, put your relationship in the first place. The girl will strive for reconciliation, she will not be ready for a break.

If a girl begins to download rights, threaten to leave, it will be a mistake to offer her a choice - to be with you or not. By doing this, you give her control and the opportunity to dominate. In this case, you will lose the rest of the value for the girl, and the gap will be guaranteed. And if you also ask for the resuscitation of relations - put an end to it, you will not achieve anything except pity.

The correct, dominant behavior will be a decision for two - either a break, or insist on continuing the relationship.

Nature has assigned a dominant role to a man, and if you are not a weakling and not a mumbler, show your strength and determination, be a man. All talk about equality, about the fact that the main thing is love, respect, tenderness, courtship is complete nonsense. Take your will into a fist and be strong, show it in your relationships, women need strong men, and not mother's sons, they should feel protected.

That's all the advice on how to dominate in relationships with the female sex. Now it’s up to you to decide whether to be the one who is being manipulated and soon abandoned, or to prove yourself as a man and build reliable, long-term relationships, decide for yourself when to continue the relationship and when to break it off.

author: Igor Kruglov, for the site

The modern world is not for the good guys. Kindness, generosity, courtesy and courtesy are good qualities instilled in us from childhood. But they do not allow us to defend our interests, protect borders, achieve victories and be more attractive. How to become tougher in character and be confident?

“To live means: constantly discarding from oneself that which wants to die; to live means: to be cruel and merciless to everything that becomes weak and old in us, and not only in us.” Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Kindness, generosity, courtesy and courtesy are what we have been taught since childhood. But if you are kind to everyone, you will be considered soft-bodied and weak-willed. The modern world calls for character building and fangs when required.

Why should you be tougher?

Rigidity will allow you to defend your interests, principles and opinion. This is more important than it seems at first glance. Defending your interests, you provide yourself best conditions in this situation. You do not miss your opportunities and chances.

You will reach your goal faster if you are tougher. Kind ones often give way to others, allowing them to take their places and even take away what was yours by right. A tougher line of behavior allows you to wipe out opponents yourself and achieve what you want.

How to look tougher?

If you want to change, you need to start with appearance and demeanor. Strong and cruel people are easy to distinguish in the crowd. Their behavior and body language betrays them. They look straight into the eyes and do not look away cowardly. They don't slouch or look pinched. A strong person behaves calmly, evenly and sustained. His voice is firm, loud and calm.

How to become tougher in character?

Start changing gradually. Start defending your interests at work and in life. Reject people who try to shift their work to you. Say no to people who use and try to ride on your neck.

Do not agree to help people right away, it can bind you with obligations that you do not need. Say that you will give an answer later, when you think well. This will allow you not to pick up unnecessary problems without an advising analysis in the heat of the moment. Do not become a victim and a hostage of other people's problems. Focus on improving your own life, not someone else's.

Be tougher and bolder in life. Stand up for your rights and interests. Do not be silent and do not act. This is your life and no one will take care of you. Why do people who come from the countryside often achieve more than those from the city? They are tougher, rougher and even sometimes arrogant. Go and take yours, and well, cowardly chew snot and do not stand aside. In life, you have to push other people with your elbows if you want to achieve a goal, and not envy the winners. Only strong people achieve their goals and achieve their dreams.

Sport helps to become more confident, stronger and tougher. A strong body raises confidence, endurance and firmness of character by new level. With the growth of physical strength calculation of inner confidence.

As one hero of the film "Rock and Roller" from director Guy Ritchie said: "No, I do not have a penchant for cruelty, but sometimes nothing happens without it"

It is impossible to become tougher in one day, but it is quite possible in a few months. Get out of your comfort zone, fight back against the offenders, take your own and conquer the girls. Be tougher in character and achieve victories, otherwise there is no way ...

• Is it possible to become a tough leader with a soft character?
• Is it possible to boost self-confidence?
• Is it possible to become more demanding with subordinates?

It turns out you can! And with a 100% guarantee!

1. Why do subordinates not perceive you as a leader?

Probably, many novice leaders could talk about their confusion, about the feeling that their head is literally spinning, about fear, about feelings of resentment towards others, about helplessness and much more. The reason for all this is your self-doubt, in a sense of shame and anxiety.

At every moment of time you feel in danger, at every moment of time you are waiting for some kind of catch. Your body reacts to it. Muscles contract, you try to become small, to become invisible. Your body reacts as if you were about to be hit in the head with a club. Your voice barely breaks through the muscle clamps in your diaphragm. It becomes quiet and subtle.

Conduct an experiment, swing a stick at a person, see how he shrinks. And you have this irrational fear. And you are constantly in such a compressed state. Well, to one degree or another.

Now think about how subordinates will perceive such a leader? A leader who strives to become smaller tries to quickly get out of contact. Whose voice barely breaks out of his chest, such a choked voice.

Internal timidity, uncertainty of the leader, is unconsciously read by subordinates. The desire to obey them disappears completely. In addition, they turn on the hierarchical instinct. They feel psychologically stronger than you. Hence the smiles towards the leader, hence the impudence and rudeness.

The work of the hierarchical instinct is clearly visible in adolescents, how they mock the weak. Especially girls. How many stories were on the central channels. How teenagers beat weaker peers almost to death, and at the same time they also shoot on the phone and post it on YouTube.

The leader should not look weak! Feelings of anxiety, feelings of shame and inferiority need to be worked out! When you work through the feeling of anxiety, your muscle clamps will relax, you will not slouch, shrink. Your voice will be loud and clear! The walk will be sure! The look is straight and prickly!

And at this moment, the very thing will arise by itself "field of power". The same voltage field. Tension is not for you, but for your subordinates. Already they will shrink into a ball at the sight of you. And the hierarchical instinct will work for you!

And do not forget that you have another advantage, you can simply fire an employee you do not like. Getting fired is very easy. According to the labor code, only one remark or reprimand is provided for violation of the regulations. And then dismissal.

The main thing is that you don't feel guilty about it. But more on that below.

2. Why can't you be a strict leader?

You need to assign a task to a subordinate, and designate a deadline.

And when the moment of agreement on the timing comes, and you need to ask, conditionally, whether the task will be completed by Friday by 17-00.

And at the same time, you need to speak loudly and clearly! Stand in an open position, and look the subordinate directly in the eyes! And shut up. And without looking away, wait for an answer.

And you have a lump in your throat, you start to look away. You begin to "flicker", you seek to break contact. Because you have a deep conviction that you are not complete. You are wrong. You are not worthy to lead others.

This belief is not realized, it is embedded in you since childhood. When your parents scolded you as a child, you shrank into a ball, you tried to get out of contact. This conditioned reflex has been preserved. Remained into adulthood. And in a certain stressful situation, you again have the same feelings of fear and shame, and a sense of your inferiority.

Remember at school there were a conditioned reflex. When Pavlov's dogs salivated when they called. Exactly the same thing happens to you. You have a certain neural pattern formed in your brain. And a signal circulates through it.

It starts in a stressful situation. It was formed in childhood, when you were a helpless child. But the same program, like a conditioned reflex, is also launched in adulthood. When you are no longer a helpless child. And you can respond to the threat. What does roar so that everyone around shut up!

But that doesn't happen. It does not happen because this conditioned reflex is triggered in you. And you react with your body. Your legs are weak. The diaphragm shrinks, you cannot squeeze out a word. And this happens every time. And it's a vicious circle. And with each subsequent such situation, you have an even stronger conviction that you are not complete. You cannot lead. And with each iteration, this belief is strengthened.

To become stricter with subordinates, you need to remove this feeling of inferiority, a sense of shame for yourself. How? See below!

3. Why can't you punish subordinates?

This is not the first time your subordinate has violated job description, and according to the regulations, you are obliged to punish him.

And you can't do it! You can't mentally!

You have an irrational sense of guilt, like it's your fault that it doesn't work well!

You don't realize it. You react with your body. You get like this "wadded" state, and your brain automatically comes up with an excuse why this time it does not need to be punished.

In the end, again, you agree that it is in last time. And everything repeats from the beginning.

The reason is still the same. Situations in childhood, where you were “blamed” by your parents, “blamed” on the case, and just like that.

Conditioned reflex entrenched. And as an adult, you react like a child.

The "treatment" is the same. Feelings of irrational guilt need to be worked through.

An important point. Before working through guilt, you need to work through feelings of irrational anxiety and shame. Since if you feel fear, shame, a feeling of inadequacy, a feeling of guilt may also come back to you.

4. How to solve the problem

An example on the study of excessive anxiety:

Let's say you need to speak at in large numbers of people. And even at the thought of such a performance, you are thrown into a cold sweat. You start to shake. That is, that conditioned reflex is triggered in you, which was developed in deep childhood, when you were a very small child. When you accidentally get into some place where there are a lot of adults, and you are left alone. And it’s quite normal for a child to be very scared at that moment. And this situation is imprinted in your brain as extremely dangerous.

And now that you are an adult, in a similar situation, the brain tries to shield you from such danger. It includes trembling in the knees and cold sweats. So that you quickly leave this place where there are a lot of people. He does not understand that you are already an adult, and this is not dangerous for you. It is this automatic reaction of the body that needs to be canceled. You need to remember the situation, the situation in childhood, which caused such a reaction of the body. Shrink reaction. And cancel it.

How to do it?

Below is a technique that not only gives understanding, but also allows you to solve such problems. The book explains in detail how it works. It gives instructions on how to change the reaction of the body to stressful situation. How to send a different signal through the neurons in order to respond to stress not like a child, but like an adult. And this neural pattern is transformed. The conditioned reflex will stop working, as the neural connections will change.

You will no longer react to stress like a child! You will not shrink and shake! You will react like an adult, like a leader.

Your behavior will change. Your walk. Your view. Your voice. You will become a confident, strong leader!

5. How to get tougher - not the right approach (in the video)

It would be a mistake to use the approach the person in the video recommends. In simple words he proposes to break oneself, that is, to act through resistance, through internal barriers. He suggests, through thousands of repetitions, to develop a new skill, confident behavior.

It is immediately clear that he has never had such problems, he thinks so simply, you can step over your sensations in the body, through your clamps, and just try to look strong and confident. But such people who try to look different from who they are, always look ugly and pathetic. Our approach is to remove these psychological barriers that prevent us from saying: "Not!".

And when you remove these psychological barriers, neutralize these interfering unconscious programs, you will get a huge advantage compared to this person in the video. Since he had never been in the “body” of an insecure person, the right programs immediately worked in him, and you were.

And you took those negative programs, and you know how they are felt by others, and this gives you the opportunity to see how these programs work in other people, what triggers they run. You literally feel the weaknesses of your opponents, you feel their pain points, you know how to put pressure on them.

And it would be a crime against yourself not to use these technologies that lead you to a comfortable psychological state, a state without stress and tension. You won't have to force yourself to say the word "no" anymore. It will fly off your lips by itself, fly organically and congruently, you won't even notice it.

The site was created in a fit of feelings, on the overflow of emotions as a result of the use of these techniques, but my enthusiasm may soon dry up, and I will delete the site, since I am engaged in its filling and promotion after work, in my personal time, and I invest personal money.

So, if you think that this information can be useful to you, I recommend that you hurry up and purchase this technique. Because most likely you will never encounter this information again, as it is only available strong of the world this, politicians, big businessmen, pop artists, and even then, only in individual counseling and for a lot of money.

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Is there a place kind people in modern world? Definitely yes. But it is one thing to be generous, to help and sympathize, and quite another to be excessively soft and weak-willed, which does not allow a person to protect the borders, his own and those close to him. When the understanding comes that the situation needs to be changed, questions arise: “How to become tougher?” or “How to become strong?” How to temper character, but remain human? After all, this is not about how to be evil and cruel.

You will need:

Make a decision

Before developing strong character, you need to clearly understand what pathological meekness leads to in your life. List, preferably out loud or in writing, exactly what consequences it leads to. For example: “Colleagues dump all the “dirty” work on me, I stay up late in the office”; “Neighbor, despite requests, continues to listen to hard rock until the morning - I don’t get enough sleep”; "The kids don't see me as an authority."

Only by making a firm decision to change something, you can achieve a result. In addition, others will immediately feel inner confidence. If a person himself does not realize why he needs to change and whether he wants this, any attempts to defend his territory look feigned, as if a bad actor plays the role of Rambo.

It is optimal to enlist the support of people you trust: ask for feedback - find out exactly what, in the opinion of relatives, is weak, and make a promise to be stronger. It is one thing to deceive yourself, and quite another to fall face down in the dirt in front of someone close to you.

There is someone to look up to

When changing character, it is always useful to take note of the experience of a person whom you consider a standard. It can be one of the parents, a friend, a coach, or even a hero from a movie - it doesn’t matter, the main thing is that in difficult situation I had the opportunity to ask myself: “What would dad/Kolya/Ivan Petrovich/James Bond do”? Pay attention to the behavior, reactions, vocabulary and facial expressions of the characters you like.

It is only necessary to remember that each character is a complex combination of different traits, and when trying to be like someone, it is important not to adopt all his shortcomings at the same time and not lose yourself.

Don't underestimate yourself and don't overestimate yourself.

Sometimes people biasedly assess the ability to stand up for themselves and loved ones. For example, a common fear among expectant mothers is the fear of not being able to defend the interests of their child in an unfair world. It's amazing what assertive tigresses these timid women sometimes turn into when a baby is born.

It happens the other way around: it seems to a person that he is tough enough and successfully defends his boundaries. But in his life there may be someone who does not see these boundaries point-blank. Usually this is the one who is treated very warmly: a loved one, a parent, a child. Unconditional love- the best thing in the world; but manipulating a good attitude and making ropes is another matter entirely.

change gradually

So that others do not think that you are not you at all, but your evil twin from parallel space, you do not need to make sudden movements: today you are afraid to refuse even a letter from spam, and tomorrow you will threaten an obsessive seller.

To develop a strong character, you need to be consistent, but change gradually. Start small.

For example, if your boss exploits you, today you can gently explain to him that you cannot run to the store for an energy bar, tomorrow refuse to work at night, the day after tomorrow - late in the evening, in a week show strength of character by saying that you will not come to the office on Sunday, because you have other plans. And there the boss will let you go on vacation not in February, but at least in May.

Or vice versa: if an overly soft person magically takes the leadership position, subordinates often push him around. To stop this, you need to take step by step: today insist that the employee leave the social network and redo the work himself, and not be satisfied with the usual: “I tried my best!” Tomorrow, having convicted of an irresponsible attitude, recall disciplinary measures. And then, if that doesn't work, these measures may have to be applied.

Of course, everywhere you need to know the measure and understand the price of the issue: if the boss is a tyrant, and this is the job you really need, it’s better to experiment with someone else. And to return to the relationship with the boss, spreading his wings and gaining self-confidence.

look at the faces

It is quite possible that not everyone can see a person as tougher.

• If the employees “sat on their heads”, but the family appreciates and supports, then there is no need to change in relation to the children and the second half.
• If one friend gets into the habit of regularly calling at night and asking to be picked up tipsy and without money from the next bar, and the second respects your time and nerves, it is obvious what kind of relationship needs to be “tuned”.
• If one neighbor considers it normal to borrow money and forget to pay it back, and the second rushes to repay the debt, having barely received a salary, then there is no reason for an honest person to be responsible for the sly spitting.

In a word, you do not need to cut everyone with the same brush.

Rejection is not an insult

The ability to calmly but firmly say “no” to people is a quality of a strong character.

But if you are used to agreeing with everyone, without even listening to the end of the request, you need to start, again, gradually. For example, a colleague regularly asks for a report for him, citing personal circumstances, you agree, and on Friday evening, when he is already buying drinks at the club for his circumstances, pore over the pieces of paper. The next time a request is made, take a time out to begin with - say that you will give an answer later, in an hour. Do not give up when you see a change of emotions on the face of a counterpart - surprise, and then reproach.

During the time won, conduct a small auto-training - remember that you decided to become more solid, why do you need it (for example, play with a child, cook borscht, take a girl to a movie, just get some sleep, finally).

Take courage and answer that this time you cannot fulfill the request, because you have a lot of your own work and plans at home.

You should not become a victim of someone else's irresponsibility.

Comfort zone

Get out - more precisely, "pull yourself by the ears" out of your comfort zone, despite the fear.
Hiding in the sink, we doom ourselves to miss the wonder of what's going on in life.

If a person wants to become more confident and stronger, it is important for him to start doing something that is unusual and difficult.

For example, you were invited to a party, but you know that there will be a person who makes fun of you. The first impulse is to stay at home and quietly get angry at the villain. You need to overcome it and go towards the difficulties. That's the only way to defeat them. Of course, it is worth preparing: remember what exactly the offender is laughing at and come up with witty answers. But at the same time, it is important not to go on a visit with one goal - to fight back. Such a mood is felt, what if a person has revised his behavior? You need to go to a party with the task of having fun, but have a backup plan in case of a psychological attack.

Or, suppose you are afraid to speak your mind - in a company or in a meeting. Especially in the presence of an authoritative person whose views differ from yours. You need to learn once and for all: a person has freedom of choice and the honor of having an opinion different from others. You have every right to say out loud what you think, even if this decision is unusual.

Insecure people often remain silent, afraid of falling out of favor or making a mistake, although they have something to offer, and because of this they lose their laurels.

Of course, as the unforgettable Mark Twain said: “It is better to keep quiet and seem like a fool than to open your mouth and dispel all doubts.”

But if the idea is really good, don't deprive the world of the chance to consider it. Just say it out loud and wait for the reaction. Didn't work? Don't give up, wait for the next opportunity. Happened? Accept congratulations and mentally shake your own hand.

Do it before you get scared

Often, in order to do something decisive, you do not need to wait until the realization of what it is fraught with comes - you need to get ahead of fear. For example, if a girl is afraid to talk to a guy she likes, you can set yourself up: “The next time I meet, I’ll start a conversation even before I imagine that he rejected me and everyone laughs at me.” Jump into the pool with your head - and there come what may, in the end, if you continue to play silent, there will probably be nothing. Of course, you need to prepare for any decisive step: come up with topics, arguments, reasons.

Look, gestures, voice - a mirror of the strength of character

strong people easy to distinguish in the crowd - they are given out by non-verbal and verbal signs.

• The look is straight. Running or lowered eyes are the worst enemy of an insecure person. Defending your position, you do not hurt the interests of others, you have nothing to be ashamed of, and you have every right to confidently look into the eyes of the interlocutor.
• Defending your boundaries, psychological or physical, you need to monitor your posture and gestures. A hunched back in a non-stooped person indicates that he wants to “surrender” and not fight; fiddling with objects in our hands or wringing our fingers, we give out our discomfort.
• Equally important is the voice. In a self-confident person, he is calm and even. But the one who is just learning to be firm, then generally rustles, and does not speak, then breaks into hysterical notes.

Strength of character is not a loud cry or a heavy fist. A strong man is silent more eloquently than a weak one screams.
All these nuances need to be worked out - otherwise nothing. The best assistants are a mirror, a camera, a voice recorder. Seeing yourself from the outside, you can be taken aback by your own absurdity. Then the desire to change will be stronger.

Sports as a means

Sports can achieve amazing results in matters of tempering character. And it doesn’t matter which one - a gym, martial arts, team games ... Even if you have never done this, it’s time to pull yourself together, think about which training option is most acceptable, and take yourself to the gym. If you are lucky to find a section with a good coach, this is generally a gold mine: the coach not only monitors the correct execution of exercises and the volume of loads, he helps to shape the mood, change - externally and internally.

Having become stronger physically, it is much easier to build up inner strength.

What is too much is not healthy

Having achieved some success on the path of character formation, it is very important to stop in time. Do not go to extremes and follow the example of the protagonist of the acclaimed series Breaking Bad. Often, if a person for a long time allows others to trample dignity and fed up with it, he just goes off the chain. And after some time, having scared everyone away from himself and left in splendid isolation, he asks the question: how can he become softer now?.. It is reasonable not to allow yourself to be manipulated; But what if now no one wants to get involved with a person? Decisiveness should not eradicate goodwill, empathy, positivity, the ability to show flexibility where it is needed. It is very easy to go too far - especially with loved ones.

Frequently Asked Questions

How to become softer in character?

Get along with yourself, as a joyful person will not look for an occasion for irritation and sadness. Practical Tips: quickly “disconnect” from the grievances received, make a list of what you want to change in yourself, write down bad moments and then analyze why they upset you and whether it was possible to react differently, find a “image” to follow, control yourself when expressing bad emotions, indulge your heart with pleasant things - music, books, hobbies.

How to become harsh?

The best interpretation of severity is a balance between love and justice. This is a long work on oneself internally in order to be able to understand situations, where and how to act according to the highest justice, tempering the will in acceptable ways, “training” one’s weaknesses and vices. It is also worth paying attention to appearance - facial features and posture, because body language can say something about us that is not at all what you want.

How to become brutal?

Proper brutality is inner fullness wrapped in a wrapper of excellent bodily shape and stylish appearance. Train responsibility, even in every little thing, and self-confidence, "feed" intelligence and ambition, be individual and a little mysterious, constantly challenge yourself, strive to be the best, respect others, but do not tolerate humiliation, be reliable, honest, imitate " examples of courage.

When should you be tougher?

Rigidity is a certain requirement for the environment. It is appropriate when it is necessary to protect the honor and status of one’s own and loved ones, when there is no discipline, something extraordinary needs to be stopped, if they try to manipulate and use it for their own purposes, when it happens psychological pressure, in any situation where flagrant injustice and humiliation reigns. There is also toughness for good when it is necessary to push a person to an important decision.

How to become ruthless?

The reasons for this behavior lie in the person's lifestyle and experiences. To achieve a result, you need to close yourself emotionally, stop compassion, control good feelings, stop loving, admire something, make friends, constantly obsessively look for a reason for hatred and negative emotions, react to everything that happens with anger and aggression.

How to be cheeky?

In a situation where you need to achieve something, imagine that you put on a “mask of impudence” on your face - try to push aside tact, awkwardness, humanity, showing immutable perseverance. Rehearse more often, but be careful - this behavior does not cause sympathy.

I'm tough, what should I do?

There are two options - leave everything as it is, if you are comfortable with it, or change something. If you are trying to eradicate stiffness, pay attention to why you have become this way and try to solve the problem. Love for someone (even a dog) will melt an icy heart. Self-love and work on mistakes will make you reconsider your outlook on life. And also - constantly force yourself to pay attention to the good, develop empathy, control aggression and negativity, be able to relax for a pleasant thing.

Solid character, what is he?

How to become a greyhound?

You need to follow a few rules: do not fuss, add a little arrogance, be completely confident in yourself, harmonize internal state and body language to make it look relaxed, know the rules and break them. Important - greyhound is not always appropriate.

How to become a cold person?

Less smiles (or more contempt), icy distant, a little detached, look, less emotional, controlled movements, even, detached tone of voice, keep talking about yourself and asking others to a minimum so as not to show curiosity. Inner work: discard morality, be ready to offend (but maintain dignity), be tough everywhere, practicality, sharp criticism and overly pronounced realism - a middle name, do not help, do not trust or sympathize, constantly tune in to negativity and indifference.

How to become a cheeky guy?

Being impudent means being able to catch people, stand out in the gray mass, should not be confused with rudeness. Work on yourself: add soft swagger to your behavior, practice answering quickly, a little sarcastically, but with a kind smile, love yourself - be energetic, funny, sparkling, cheerful, enthusiastic, enjoy even a stain on a T-shirt and turn it into a holiday, focus on your presence, say what you think, challenge yourself in the most unexpected questions.

How to become strict?

It is enough to start saying “no” firmly, to act fairly, not to bend to the wishes of others, to listen to yourself, to be self-possessed, principled and “in a good way” stubborn.

How to be smarter?

It is necessary to increase self-confidence through training, exercises for endurance and perseverance, to neutralize the factors that humiliate you. Make your circle of interests and hobbies wider, change your wardrobe to a more noticeable and emphatic one, learn at least the basics of oratory. Practice adding a little irony and perseverance to your speech.

How to stop being rude?

It is important to learn the following techniques: a controlled and adequate reaction, more frequent, sincere smiles, calmness, constantly improve and work on oneself, looking at the example of sensitive and gentle women.

How can a girl be strong?

A woman should be herself in the first place - this concerns caring for her body, self-development, "pleasures for the soul." You can’t “fall for the bait” of relationships where there is no freedom, as well as compare yourself with others - this suppresses the personality. It is important to learn to defend personal boundaries, opinions, not to let yourself be offended and offended, to unquestioningly believe in yourself and your uniqueness, to adequately accept falls and losses.

Fighting qualities of a person?

These are such character traits of people that lead to success: absolute faith in victory, strong internal motivation, positive thinking, correct understanding what is happening, riskiness, a constructive and clear ability to think, a combination of charisma and simplicity, a clear knowledge of one's desires.

How to stop being a good guy?

Stop suppressing your opinion in order to please and please everyone. Say a firm "no", those who buckle are not respected. Restrainedly show character and that very “core”, do not tie your happiness and the meaning of life to people - be self-sufficient. Express fire and spontaneity, firmness and systematicity, justice and courage.

How to become smart?

Everyone has their own inner pace, but you can try. It is necessary to form the habit of completing all tasks and assignments on time. Start planning your day, write a list of things to do by the hour in your diary, try to complete them. If you did it before, reward yourself. Listen to rhythmic music while doing something, imagine a coach with a stopwatch in front of you. Do not listen to those who push or criticize - this breeds fussiness, panic and only gets in the way.

How to become arrogant and punchy?

Having a punchy character, you will be able to enjoy life better. How to do it: act self-confident and assertive, show emotions brightly and sincerely, position yourself in a way that you will be respected, participate in a friendly argument - this is the best rehearsal to stand up for yourself stubbornly, be mischievous and cheerful, joke, but do not forget about your goals, and even in jest, persuade others to do them. Moderate taunts and wit are your friends.

How to learn to be proud?

Stop any domination over yourself and manipulation, accept yourself as anyone and love, teach others to respect you and your opinion, cultivate a personality in yourself - improve, do not demonstrate your fears, be a little unpredictable.

How to be bold and beautiful for guys?

The main condition is to act only as prompted by the inner ego. Communicate your needs, voice your wishes, don't sacrifice your interests and plans, enjoy life without giving up everything for someone else. And, of course, look flawless. Men fall at the feet of the one who will make them fight every minute.

How to become more decisive?

Decisiveness is a strong desire to live life the way you want. Curb your inner fears and barriers, find the strength on your own or with a psychologist to eliminate childhood traumas that have become a prerequisite for indecision, do not doubt yourself, start small - start thinking with your head, making small decisions first, based on your experience and desire, then - more and more convincing yourself and the environment that you cannot be manipulated.

How to become more observant?

Important Rules- eliminate haste and overwork, stop trying to do several things at the same time, constant training.
Exercises for the development of observation:
- constantly consider: people and their actions, and then compare your guesses with reality; street, each time snatching out new little things, and reproduce in memory; choose an object that you can see constantly;
- train your ear - "guess" and characterize steps, noise, sounds, and vision - practice with eventful pictures, numbers and others, remembering their order and the smallest features;
- hone the skill of inconspicuous surveillance, involving all the senses.

How to become fragile?

You have to know how to be weak. You can't call a girl in sneakers and with heavy bags fragile. If you want to look like this - work out your image using romantic dresses and heels, elegant delicate makeup. Do not try to pull everything alone - and nail the shelf, and fix the toilet, do not be afraid to ask for help. If you can't, go to femininity courses. Read beautiful "women's" books, watch films with gentle heroines, take an example from them.

How to become a tough leader?

Read specialized literature, learn from experience, practice in order to possess such qualities: a firm focus on results, but not “walking on corpses”, fair uncompromisingness, harmony of determination and flexibility, a mixture of optimism and realism, not overwhelming authoritativeness, honesty, constructive thinking.

How to train character?

Analyze yourself - the best sides strengthen, the worst - slowly eliminate. Train willpower and self-control. Learn not to be afraid of responsibility and take risks. Learn to adequately perceive criticism and understand others. Get rid of prejudice and stereotypes. Always be on the move towards your goal. Expand your horizons and do not be afraid of difficulties.

How to become more eloquent?

Conclusion

Conclusion

Getting tougher is not a matter of one day. But over time, it is quite realistic to achieve this: you need to realize the goal, think over the means, hone fairly simple skills (in particular, the ability to refuse, voice your position, leave the comfort zone), and at the same time remain within the framework of humanity.

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